By Julie Day
Desires: Hold them, softly.
A year and a half ago, my partner and I were trapped in a trigger cycle that left us both feeling that our potent partnership had turned into a minefield. We couldn't seem to get unstuck, and we were both exhausted.
I loved this man so much, I loved our partnership so much... it was everything I had desired in relationship and more. And so I took this precious thing, and I held it tighter and tighter in my hands. I fought for counseling sessions, I fought for battling our way through... and although I honored the part of me that was willing to work hard, another part had gotten a hold of it, and it was my fear of losing him.
Clutching it so tightly only suffocated it, and eventually we agreed to take a break. I was devastated. Life had wrenched from my hand the very thing I held so sacred. But that wasn't true. Life was FOR my most treasured desire being truly and deeply realized... and it had finally gotten me to let go, to surrender, to follow the highest path.
And that path, although filled with grief and doubt, also became filled with so much light. Unbeknownst to me, it was actually the fastest path to our reunion, it was the fastest path to our healing and the real experience of this manifested desire known as spiritual partnership.
We circled back three months later, and quickly saw that time and space had healed those inner places that mental gymnastics never could. We were better versions of ourselves, and we were infinitely better as a partnership.... and it has only gotten better and deeper since then. Through this experience, I saw so intimately how Life is always holding us and loving us, if only we allow it.
Nothing on this Earth can thrive if tightly clutched. Not you, not a tree, and not your desires.
Your desires are children of the Universe. They are ideas of the Divine that seek expression through and as your life. They are not yours to have and own, they are yours to experience and express. And whether that desire is for a relationship, a job, or a million dollars, the birth of your desire into manifested form is a divine appointment. Can you allow that to unfold in perfect timing? Can you trust that Life will bring you each step you need to take, when you need to take it?
This desire you hold so dear is not a mistake, nor is it frivolous thinking... true soul desires originate in the One Mind of the Divine... the all-knowing, all-powerful, everywhere present Divine Source Energy. They are holy, sacred impulses of creation, and they are part of how the Divine Itself wishes to experience Life through YOU.
So, it's ok to hold it softly, in fact, that's optimal! Trust each wave that washes over you... from the wave that says take a break, to the wave that says dive back in. Let the Divine dance through you, allow Life to bring your manifested desire to your doorstep. You don't have to control it, you don't have to "get it right." This is a perfect process. You are safe to trust. You are safe to let go.
To your softly held and divinely appointed desires,
By Julie Day
Let your Human-ness be Holy.
I just returned from an incredibly dense and layered experience, and I would love to share a bit of that with you today.
My Father has been diagnosed with a progressive disease. My Brother and I have had to make quick decisions to enact the level of care for him that is currently required, as well as anticipating and preparing for what's to come. That alone is a big enough task to move through.
However, this past week, I traveled all the way out to the Olympic Peninsula to organize and pack my Dad's home, sending it off to Florida... all in 4 days! As I entered his home and prepared for the task before me, I was hit with a wave of... density (no better word for it). Oh crap, how do I do this? How do I feel what I'm feeling and do what I am here to do? How do I decide what goes and what gets discarded or given away? How do I navigate this... doing the best possible organizing job for my Dad while simultaneously dealing with all the feels surfacing from a very complex and complicated history together?
What I learned is this: you let yourself be human, and you let that human-ness be holy.
I felt waves of sadness that left me sobbing in the bathroom. I felt anger over the wounding our human mash-up created. I felt love... a deep down buried love that I didn't know was still there for my Dad. I felt pride, seeing my Dad through the eyes of a mature adult Julie, seeing how beautifully he managed and governed his life. And, after years and years of healing from the pain I experienced as a child... I felt a surprising amount of gratitude that I got to have this crazy, wounded, imperfect, quirky, caring guy as my Dad.
The result? The whole experience was downright holy to me. It might not have seemed that way from the outside looking in: I ate french fries, I drank wine, I got irritated, I didn't sleep much, meditate, or exercise (at all, ha!)... and yet it was just as holy and sacred as the most high-vibing spiritual retreat I have ever experienced. I had no bandwidth to judge myself, or hold myself to any egoic standard of how I should or shouldn't conduct myself, I just followed and allowed. I trusted the process. I let myself be human, and I let the human-ness be holy.
There was something to allowing all those emotions and experiences to be felt consciously, authentically, and with gusto, that allowed for something transcendent to take place.
I'm sure there are many layers of this that will continue to teach me and work on me, but this one, the holiness of the human-ness... it's a lifelong teaching that continues to awe me with it's richness and gifts. And it makes sense, right? I feel like that's why we're here. I'm here to experience this thing called Life as Julie, in all her colors. To deny that, on any level, is to deny the Divine idea that brought me forth into this Earth experience. The more I surrender to this and allow this to happen authentically, the more I feel a merging and unity with the Divine. The holiness never comes by by-passing, escaping, jumping out of or around to.. it comes be being and allowing who we are in every moment. Ahhhhhh~ yessssss. Can you feel that to be true for you, too? Just do you, authentically and consciously. Does that take a weight off your shoulders?
I realize this level of authentic allowing is not as easy as it sounds. Our egos can really get in the way with shoulds, shamings, or spiritual by-passings. Ironically, it takes a high degree of trust and understanding of who we are (personally and spiritually) to let yourself be intentionally messy, unclear, and human.
Thank you for allowing me to share in this with you!
Deep bows to your most holy human,
In moments of inner struggle, conceptualize the highest truth related to the subject you are able and focus all of your attention on it.
Often, in times of inner turmoil we place our focus on altering or distracting ourselves from the unpleasant emotion itself. Unfortunately, the experience is the effect of a prior cause and not the root cause of the experience itself.
The root cause is a thought or concept we are holding as truth in our inner world that is discordant or a catalyst or seed for suffering.
By shifting your mind's focus to a higher truth you essentially lure your human to focus on a thought that generates a much more positive experience.
By Julie Day
Shame~ let's let that go.
In the last month, there's been a potent conversation ignited in our community, and it's around shame. Someone very vulnerably shared about her body shame, and in a matter of hours, dozens of comments followed suit, sharing their own intense experience with shame.
Blech! Shame is the absolute lowest frequency one can experience. It's lower than depression, lower than grief. It's crippling, debilitating... AND THERE'S NOT AN OUNCE OF SPIRITUAL TRUTH IN IT! It's a lie, an egoic fabrication that can take us away from giving our highest in any given moment. And yet, this is an all-too-common experience... even for those of us knee-deep on the spiritual path. What gives?
I've experienced tons of shame around my own sense of power. Who I am is too much, it's too big... hide it away, be humble, don't you dare let that out, it's egotistical. Especially in relationships, I felt that as soon as I allowed myself to "be big" I would over-step, and I would lose the love or respect of my partner.
YEARS of healing later, and I am now in a partnership that CELEBRATES my big-ness, that encourages it, that starts to go off the rails unless I am being true to my most authentic self... and that's often big, loud, goofy, powerful me. There ain't no room for shame in that game!
My partner, Marco, is a big being himself ;) However, he was raised in a strict, fundamentalist family, where his entire human existence was seen as sinful... a disgusting, imperfect, sinful human being. That's a ton of shame to unwind for anyone, let alone someone who is here to be big... but unwind it he did.
How'd he do that?
In his own journey, what has been most helpful for him in unwinding shame, has been to create a solid "Super Structure" in which to test these limiting beliefs. Super Structure is Marco's term for a belief matrix... "what is God, what is existence, who am I within this, what is really true?" The more solid this Super Structure, the more aligned with high truth it became, the more quickly shame crumbled, and revealed itself as the lie that it was and is.
Here's how shame shakes down in his Super Structure:
Yesterday, Marco did a whole video for us on the topic of shame over on our community page. You can find us here.
If you would like powerful support in building out your own super structure that can bust the ego's limiting beliefs, whether that be around shame, lack, limitation, and beyond... please check out Marco's Accelerated Coaching Sessions.
Accelerated Coaching Sessions
I believe that the most mundane things in life are just as holy as the most powerful mystical experiences.