The Illusion of Shame

By Julie Day

​Shame~ let's let that go. 

In the last month, there's been a potent conversation ignited in our community, and it's around shame. Someone very vulnerably shared about her body shame, and in a matter of hours, dozens of comments followed suit, sharing their own intense experience with shame. 

Blech! Shame is the absolute lowest frequency one can experience. It's lower than depression, lower than grief. It's crippling, debilitating... AND THERE'S NOT AN OUNCE OF SPIRITUAL TRUTH IN IT! It's a lie, an egoic fabrication that can take us away from giving our highest in any given moment. And yet, this is an all-too-common experience... even for those of us knee-deep on the spiritual path. What gives? 

I've experienced tons of shame around my own sense of power. Who I am is too much, it's too big... hide it away, be humble, don't you dare let that out, it's egotistical. Especially in relationships, I felt that as soon as I allowed myself to "be big" I would over-step, and I would lose the love or respect of my partner. 

YEARS of healing later, and I am now in a partnership that CELEBRATES my big-ness, that encourages it, that starts to go off the rails unless I am being true to my most authentic self... and that's often big, loud, goofy, powerful me. There ain't no room for shame in that game! 

My partner, Marco, is a big being himself ;) However, he was raised in a strict, fundamentalist family, where his entire human existence was seen as sinful... a disgusting, imperfect, sinful human being. That's a ton of shame to unwind for anyone, let alone someone who is here to be big... but unwind it he did.

How'd he do that?

In his own journey, what has been most helpful for him in unwinding shame, has been to create a solid "Super Structure" in which to test these limiting beliefs. Super Structure is Marco's term for a belief matrix... "what is God, what is existence, who am I within this, what is really true?" The more solid this Super Structure, the more aligned with high truth it became, the more quickly shame crumbled, and revealed itself as the lie that it was and is.  

Here's how shame shakes down in his Super Structure:   

• Spirit/God NEVER shames, it is completely a creation of our Ego/Human.
• Shame is a reflection of the concepts we hold in our inner world (what we expect ourselves to be or do in order to meet our inner definition of good or even lovable)
• it's our Ego's defender/enforcer, the voice of our Inner Critic.
• Shame does very little to curb our behavior and much to cause us to shrink and doubt ourselves.
• Shame is reliant on unconscious assumptions on our part - for instance: assuming that we are meant to be "perfect" or that existence is designed in a way that would allow a mistake or imperfection on our part to completely derail and destroy our chance at our highest existence, etc...
• Shame is a choice.

Yesterday, Marco did a whole video for us on the topic of shame over on our community page. You can find us here. 

If you would like powerful support in building out your own super structure that can bust the ego's limiting beliefs, whether that be around shame, lack, limitation, and beyond... please check out Marco's Accelerated Coaching Sessions. 

Accelerated Coaching Sessions

With Love, 
Julie